So lately I’ve been emailing with hot intern. Is this totally wrong? He totally started it! But I did the math and I’m only like 11 months older then him. And all this time I’ve assumed I’m the only one who thinks he’s the hot intern that he is, but over $1.75 you-call-its at a bar last night, I come to find out that my partner in crime, my Sempra counterpart Sarah totally has a crush on hot intern!
OK I should back up. Dude, I think I've found my Sempra counterpart. She's just like me. She calls people dude at inopportune moments. She loves to happy hour. She adds on to my jokes and I add on to hers. She's an intern (ok well we don't have that in common, but she's still young like me). She's way into the office drama. If I find out she's allergic to cheese, I might get scared. It’s kinda freaking me out. We met last week when I ran into another intern in the bathroom around 4 o’clock on a Friday and after politely telling me I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe she asked if I wanted to come to happy hour with her and some interns. I was up for the challenge and ended up meeting my counterpart. By the way, before this starts to sound creepy, all of the interns, except for hot intern, dammit, are older then me. Most are about 25. Why they have taken so long to get their ass in gear and start a carreer, god only knows. So my counterpart (let’s stop referring to her as that so she stops sounding like a cyborg) is named Sarah. We have become fast friends which I’m sure will inevitably burn out in a few weeks after we discover that everything we dislike about ourselves also annoys us in the other person (because we’re the same person… keep up!) and so we’ll stop hanging out. But so far we’re having fun with it.
But today it all came to a head. She was at my desk and we were planning a happy hour for Friday. We’ve heard rumors there’s a rival one happening, so we’ve dubbed our mission the “war of the happy hours.” So we were talking and she looked over my shoulder at my email account and suddenly goes “Wait…” and sees an email from hot intern, who we’ll now call BTT (you’ll see why later). So she proceeds to open it and read some of our emails and gets super jealous and now thinks BTT and I have a super hot inter-office, sex in the break room affair going on. Plus she is mad he doesn’t email her. So I insist BTT and I are just friends (which we are) and we laugh it off and she leaves. But I knew it wouldn’t stop there. About an hour later I get this email forward from BTT:
Heather,
Apparently Villanova is jealous of our emails...
-----Original Message-----From: Sarah
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2005 2:14 PM
To: BTT
Subject: war of the happy hours
I happen to be over at Heathers desk and I notice an email correspondence between the two of you. Needless to say, I am more then a little jealous that I have been left off of your ‘cool people at the company to email’ list. So I am making the first email move here. Even more interesting was to see that you guys email about me, and your anticipation of seeing me wasted. It could happen Friday, dare to dream the dream. I don’t really even think that I am a very crazy drunk. I do really enjoy cutting a rug on the dance floor at any opportunity. I like to think I am more humorous, if that is even possible, haha. (I know I am the only one that ever laughs at my jokes anyway)… Bill is calling me to duty now. Hasta manana.
Ciao
Sarah
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I thought that was funny.. then I get this email from Sarah:
So BTT and I have begun our correspondence… so it is on now. Has it become the war of the happy hours to the war over BTT? Just so you know, we have better things to talk about then you in our emails, hehe. Now, when the gossip train was going around the track the word I heard on the caboose was that ‘it is on’ dance off style. The other word I heard on the track was that happy hour is at Sevilla, that is for all the I-Force team members. Tomorrow is going to be a blast. A blast and a half, to be exact.
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Here we go. So I countered with:
Well, just so you know BTT already emailed me to say you were jealous of our emailing. So bring it.
Are you trying to tell me that I'm not an I Force member? Am I uninvited to the happy hour I co-chaired just because of my correspondence with him?
----
And she responds:
I believe that BTT has figured out that he is in the middle of this love triangle, and he is playing both sides. And I was just now laughing at the thought of you ‘bringing it’ and you can consider it brought, by me, tomorrow. Place: Sevilla. Time: happy hour (although you won’t be happy for long).
P.S. The BTT is a secret code name I devised so no one will know who we are speaking of, and the two tt’s are the end of his last name
P.P.S. I can’t believe BTT told you that I was jealous
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Just to finish off this shoving match, I responded:
Our dance-off will leave the britney/justin post-break up tabloid dance-off in the dust, my friend. And don't you worry, I most assuredly will be happy!
I like the BTT name.. It reminds me of JTT as in jonathan taylor thomas, which is about the level of school-girl, home improvement-era crush we both have on BTT.
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We’ll see where this goes. I’ll keep you posted.
