The boy and his rules (and teaching him to follow mine)

Without becoming too Sex & the City on you all, I’m going to depart from my normal work gossip and I’m going to blog about my life. Which, you must admit, is much more interesting.

After dating the boy for almost six months now, I’ve started to notice so many more things about boy’s lives. For example, my boyfriend lives by very strict standards of conduct. Most of these are about guys and their friends who are guys. I’ve learned some funny things through observations of the boy and his good friends. Here are some of the more interesting ones I’ve learned thus far:

A guy will never go to another guy’s house to pick him up to arrive at a third destination. This just isn’t done. Guys drive themselves places.

Two guys can go to lunch together and not say a word to each other. They can sit down together, eat their food together, and twenty minutes later, after total silence, can look at each other and be like “Ready to go?” “Yup.” And that’s lunch.

If a guy friend can’t come to a party or something, the phone call to his guy friend will last approximately ten seconds. “Brian’s not coming.” “Why not?” “I don’t know.” “Well, is he sick? Did something happen? Didn’t you talk to him?” “Yeah I talked to him. He said ‘I can’t come.’ And I said ‘OK.’”

When a guy and a girl are dating, the guy must drive, otherwise he will become very fidgety in the passenger seat and will be totally emasculated

I’ve also noticed my boyfriend gets his hair cut way more often them me. Like every two weeks. So one Saturday he was telling me he was going to get his hair cut the next day. It’s apparently a bi-monthly, Sunday ritual. So I asked him when he last let his hair grow out. And I told him I thought he should again because I wanted to see what it looked like. He got pouty and looked all stressed, so I told him to just go another two weeks. He wasn’t buying it, so I said “You can tell me what to do with my hair for those two weeks too.”

Now, obviously, I was setting this up for him to say “No way, you’re beautiful just as you are and I always like your hair.” But no. He didn’t miss a beat and he was all “OK, wear your hair curly for two weeks.” EW!

He claims he likes my hair curly, as many people often tell me. But they don’t realize curly hair is a pain. You can’t go anywhere with a breeze above 1 MPH. You can’t touch it all day. And while it may look cute and bouncy to start with, if you lay down for like a minute, you end up with a bird’s nest.

But I obliged. Now we’re already into week two of this tortuous deal. Immediately after agreeing upon the deal, we had to make a trip to Target, so that I could get curly hair shampoo, conditioner, and styling stuff. And he had to get some kind of trimmer thing. I’m not sure what for, but he said it’s for maintaining the haircut. Just another part of the mystery of boy’s hair care that I don’t intend to figure out. We were quite a sight in the Target check out line, both all irritated to have to buy things because the other person was making us.

I’ve been so annoyed all week about the curly hair thing. But it does pose a few advantages. Since my hair’s naturally curly, all I have to do is wash it in the morning. So I get to sleep in a little more. And at work, I’ve been getting comments on it. But mostly they’re like “Oh, you changed your hair.” And I’m like “Um. Do I know you?” Apparently more people are aware of me and my hair then I thought. The boy keeps insisting it made me look glamorous. Well, that’s cute, but I’m not sold. I still keep saying that next Sunday at 6 AM, the blow dryer will be out and the curly hair will be gone.

We went to dinner a few days ago and my hair was still curly, of course. But this time, I’d taken a nap earlier and we’d decided to go get dinner at ten at night. So my curly hair was in full bird’s nest mode. We ordered our food, and when it came, the girl who brought the food stopped and said to me “Oh my gosh. I really like your hair.” And then just walked off. The boy smiled hugely across from me. Damn waiter girl. I think he has placed plants around the city.