Heather's Daily Digression - October 18, 2004

Today I was called into the manager's office. Scary? No way. Maybe if this had happened a few months ago where at every turn I was terrified of being fired, I would have been scared. But not now. I’m settling back into my position as the “ain’t goin no where” girl. I ain’t going no where. So I went into my bosses office and put my feet up on her desk, and waited to hear what she wanted to say.

It turns out they want to move me to a new department! Actually, it’s the same department, just a different “group” and totally new work! They felt I wasn’t being challenged enough and even apologized for not teaching me enough yet! (See what I mean? I ain’t going no where..) My boss added that, since I’m in the “rotation program” for new graduates, she wants to “rotate” me. Yeah. Ok. That’s cute. But I’m not a bike wheel... I’m an accountant. But whatever, I’m moving on up! Well, kind of. This “major move” involves shifting cubicles approximately ten feet to the left.

So sadly there aren’t gonna be any long goodbyes and emphatic packing of frames into cardboard boxes. There will be no good-bye lunches or tearful hugs. There will be no catered brunches in the conference room where we go around the room and all say our favorite thing that Heather has brought to this department. No. Instead, I’ll gather what belongings I have in a burlap sack and move to the far less desirable, much more manager prone, new cubicle. (Hey, I’d better be able to take my chair with me!)

It’s an exciting move for me, but I bet no one else will even notice. It’ll be more like someone walks by my old desk and says “Hey, where’s that red head girl?” And I’ll say (from ten feet to the left) “Over here” and they’ll say “Oh, Ok.” And carry on with their day. And if I’m feeling really bold I’ll add “And I’m not a red head!!!” And then duck back into my new cubicle.

The only thing that’s really changing is my email signature. (For those less savvy, the email signature is what the nerdiest in the biz put at the bottom of all emails. We’re required to have one that tells our title and stuff. So then when you write some bitch out email to another department for not having their stuff done in time, you can be all “You need to get your act together! Have those reconciliations on my desk!” And they totally hate you.. then they keep reading and at the bottom, in a friendly, purple font, it says “Sincerely, Heather” and then they like you again)

So anyway, my signature right now reflects my feelings on my department.
It’s currently:

Heather
“Go-Fetch” Girl
Poopy Department
7th Floor
Awesomest cubicle ever

And now it’s going to be

Heather
Totally Important Girl
Serious and Challenging Department
7th Floor
Poopiest cubicle ever

After hearing about this new move and the fact that they thought I wasn’t being “challenged enough” I started to think they were reading my mind. Then when they said sorry for not teaching me enough I started to think they were reading my blog! Seriously, they addressed all my ranting about my current job and made them better! What if they ARE reading my blog? No way. However, I did become a little more suspicious when my boss said, as I was leaving, “I’m sure guy-with-an-accent will miss you!” Oh no!