Adventures on a New Floor

My new floor smells like cookies. It permeates the whole floor and is constant. The cookie smell is undeniable, but none of the people who work here notice it. I wonder how long it will be until I, like all the other hapless souls on this floor, suddenly stop smelling it and then someone new is like “does someone have cookies?” and I’ll be like “Hmm... no I don’t smell anything.” But for now it feels like a Girl Scout is standing behind me. Mmm, now I want a Girl Scout cookie.

OK hold on, I’d better back up here. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m in a new department as of last week. It’s pretty exciting. It’s a totally new job with totally new people on a totally new, cookie scented floor! So you know what that means… all new people to make fun of! And let me tell you, this floor is ripe with blog material.

The first day I moved down here from my happenin, young, well-lit floor I was pretty bummed to find a dark, quiet, messy cubicle to greet me. I couldn’t bring anything cool with me, so I’m stuck with this stone aged computer that has four thousand post-its stuck around the yellowed monitor, which I’m convinced are holding the thing together. It’s the kind of computer you scoot past in the computer labs at school, the kind you might see in a museum and go “Damn! People used those?” OK so maybe I’m exaggerating. But the keyboard has a distinct layer of grime that has only been worn away on the space bar and is sure to contain some kind of hazardous bacteria. But I’m slowly getting settled and bringing my own, bouncy, full-of-light personality to this desk space. I put some photos up, as well as my flowery calendar. I got some office accessories and now there’s a place to put paperclips, instead of showering them all over the desk, which is how the previous occupant apparently stored them.

OK there’s plenty more news about my new job and floor and department and boss, but I just realized it’s getting late. I actually got to the office at 7 today, per my new boss’ request, apparently so that I could warm my office chair an hour earlier, greet a whole new set of homeless people on the walk in, and answer the phone call of my boss at 7:45 who said “Oh, were we supposed to meet at 7?” So since I got here so damn early, I’m leaving a little early too. But tune in next time for another exciting post about Heather’s adventures in her new position. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an uncanny desire to go home and make some cookies.